This past week specifically, but all through this process my heart has been vulnerable.

When we have been given platforms and professions and leadership roles, some of us feel as though we have to have it all together, all of the time. Vulnerability is a scary place to be in and it certainly has its pros and cons, but I believe that if you are grounded and have a firm foundation in Jesus Christ, that vulnerability in and with Him can set you free. This past Sunday at church was an example of this concept.

Throughout my life, I have hated tears and always believed that if I cried I was showing weakness, but I never realized that it was actually representing strength, because those tears were speaking in volume that I needed Jesus to come to my rescue. Sunday at church as I was leading worship on stage, I was battling emotion of loss, of doubt, of lack of peace, etc., and trying to push back the tears that all could see, but as I began to sing out, “Your love never fails. It never gives up. It never runs out on me,” I wept for all to see, not being able to continue in the song. There was a sense of freedom in that place, as all you could hear were the voices crying out vulnerable together about God’s unfailing love for us.

The con of vulnerability is the capability of being wounded and the enemy trying to sneak in. For over four weeks now I have had to reschedule my chord-chart day to be able to finally put my words for “Blink Twice” into music, but things continued to interrupt. Every week that the day would approach I would feel the overwhelming amount of doubt, fear, and distance creeping in. I consistently question what I am doing, if I am good enough, and the thought of letting people down. That is just like the enemy, when you are striving to do something for the Lord that he does not want you to see through. (And I am being completely vulnerable with you in this moment!)

I struggled to push myself on that Tuesday to go to the studio, but when I arrived I felt freedom and peace for not listening to those other voices and being faithful to what I feel called and assigned to do. I was in awe and tears had filled my eyes as the words that I have spent so much time on, that are my testimony, and that were inspired to me by the Lord, came to life and were being put into song. It was a beautiful thing and a product of a vulnerable heart to the Lord.

I want to encourage you. It is okay to not have your life together, because if you did then you would never feel that you needed the Lord to intervene. It is okay to cry, to have break downs, and to allow people to see that you struggle and have suffering too. It is not weakness; it is strength. And lastly when you have a firm foundation and know who you are in Christ, your vulnerability with Him can set you free!

Psalm 34:18 – The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Psalm 73:26 – “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

Yours Truly,

Tara Branstetter